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Matthew Carlin

The Lower Manhattan Dormitory Effect

 
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Introducing a new book by George Haas!
 
I have written a new book, The Lower Manhattan Dormitory Effect, a memoir of my life in New York City in the late 70s and early 80s, from the perspective of now, which concerns this exploration of the nature of Karma unfolding over a lifetime. The layering of present moment over present moment; how each time we review the past, the review reshapes the meaning of it until we do not remember what happens or even what it meant to us, but what it meant to us a thousand different times of remembering.

I am releasing my new book on October 14, 2020, to commemorate the first National March on Washington for Lesbian and Gay Rights on October 14, 1979, the year my Memoir chronicles. Ten years after the Stonewall Riots, nearly one year after Harvey Milk’s assassination, and after many failed attempts to unite the scatterings of local LGBTQQI organizations, a shift in consciousness brings us all together for a coordinated, single-issue demand for Justice, for the most basic common decency promised all Americans in our Constitution. 

The Lower Manhattan Dormitory Effect

Forty-one years ago, three cohorts and I—when you read the book, not that “four of us”—got into a car and drove to Washington, D.C. for that demonstration. (I want to say, “We have made so much progress since 1979.” Then, I look out the window and we seem to be retrenching….) As we approached Baltimore, the freeway became more and more crowded with buses heading our way. I remember thinking how lucky I was to be in a private car…until we got to Washington and the parking took two hours and a month’s pay, and there was no place to pee as far as the eye could see! Doing the “I can’t hold it much longer” dance, I finally prevailed on (read begged), one of the bus drivers to let me use the bathroom on the bus. (After that, I always took a bus to away demonstrations.)

I got used to demonstrating in Illinois. Many of us have. In the Spring of 1965, I was running for the bus home from my tuba lesson in what is now the Music Administration Building on the Northwestern University campus. (I had begun with the flute; but after my father listened to my inability to form my lips properly to play practice, he decided my efforts were not worth the twelve-dollar rental fee, and then there was a full-scholarship for the rental of a tuba. I do not have good childhood stories, so there are alternative ones in this book.) I ran across and up Elgin Road, through Oldberg Park, around the corner onto Sherman Avenue where I ran into my girlfriend—don’t ask!—Melanie Lohman and her father, Bill in the crowd of a local-sized Civil Rights demonstration lapping downtown Evanston, Illinois. They said in unison, I remember this perfectly clearly, “Get in here, George!”

Showing up home hours late, my mother—on numerous occasions said in all seriousness but in a joking manner, “I am significantly to the right of Attila the Hun,”—she looked askance at my exuberant description of marching for racial justice. (Who knew you could do that?) I was thinking she was thinking, “What a petulant, ungrateful, disturbed little child I have.” (Reviewing The Lower Manhattan Dormitory Effect in my mind’s eye, I may not have made much progress on that issue.)

My book is a recollection of downtown life in New York City in the late 70s and early 1980s reflected on from here in LA: 2020. It is In Memoriam for my younger brother, Raoul Kevin, and for the young women and men who died from AIDS, from suicide, from heroin, from sex. Some of my photographic work in this book was included in the 2017 MoMA exhibition, Club 57: Film, Performance, and Art in the East Village, 1978-1983, along with all my films from this period.

The Lower Manhattan Dormitory Effect is a description of the downtown art scene, which at that time comingled with a vibrant club scene where I was a famous door man, and sober, so I can remember what I saw. It is gay. It is dyslexic. It is a portrait of a time in photographs of a group of creative friends, most of whom did not survive the period.  It is the portrait of a young man recovering from a childhood of sadistic abuse, a childhood and adolescence of drug and alcohol addiction, and from Dissociative Identity Disorder. It is intended to be irreverent. To be funny (hopefully). To be infused with Buddhist philosophy. To be beautiful. To be an exact depiction of Then from Now.

If you live long enough, you see that children grow and come into their adult life discovering, as we who have gotten old did, everything they need to know to get on with life; starting from where we left off, not from where we started. This layer of Karma carrying on. What is it that you found out in your own journey; how can you explain that to those coming up, so that they can take it in? That is this book. To put it another way, how do you comprehend the karmic thread that carries from one place to another over a lifetime, in my case, how did I get from Chicago to New York City in 1979.

The subtitle of the book is: A Memoir of 1979 New York in Photographs and Lyric Prose Poetry; Essays by Vincent Virga, Linda Yablonsky, Sarah Lehrer-Graiwer, and Jessica Rath. I wish I could say it was a lite read, the book itself weights ten and a half pounds. (As an object, it is gorgeous.)

Decide for yourself…here's an excerpt: 

[NOTE: The suggestion has been made that I clue you in on what’s happening here (as if what was happening were not self-evident); a small explanatory note, a prelude to avoid confusion:

I like to make motion pictures.

(By industry standards my scenarios are considered soft, not a lot of violence on screen; too much consideration for the emotional side.)  

Think of these stories as a calendar, a collection of days, weeks, months—in the end a year; a warp of images woven together by bright ideas—if you can stomach it.] 

There are three Golden Rules that govern New York night life. The countdown from unimportant to fundamental: 

3) Do not bug the DJ

2) Tip the bartender

1) Be good to your Doorman

There are three rules by which a Doorman will govern the Door: the first, the Doorman is always right; the second, the customer is always wrong; and three, should the customer not be wrong, refer to rule one. 

There are many ways in which an individual can be good to the Doorman; an expression of affection that guarantees priority treatment, causing the crowd outside the club to make like the Red Sea as you sail through. (No waiting.) 

“You’re looking so good I can hardly keep my hands off you.” 

“I’ve got a boat; would you like to go water skiing?” 

“How about some blow?”

If engaging the Doorman is too much, money will compensate. Properly done, bill folded, denomination showing (not under ten dollars, please), palmed in a handshake is considered cool. Waving money like a flag is not. Do not attempt to bargain with the Doorman. 

(A rule of thumb: The Doorman will only accept money from those that they would let in anyway.) 

The most money I have ever refused from a single individual at one time, was a crisp, new one-hundred-dollar bill. 

(The man was an out-of-towner, in town for a furniture convention; drunk. Unzipping his fly and taking his penis out of his pants (barely in time), he peed on the steps in front of the Mudd Club. 

I said, “There is cool and there is uncool.”

May All Beings Be Free of Pain and Sorrow

May All Beings Be Free of Pain and Sorrow

October is almost here. Or maybe time is half-inching along what with the pandemic, smoke from epic fires, and the pending shitshow election, and it felt like it would never get here. Sigh. When in the past we might have looked to Halloween to lighten our spirits…this year maybe social distancing will require alterations. Glum faces on our children and youth. Perhaps we should burn our Daruma dolls early this year?

A Monk Story for March

A Monk Story for March

Two young monks are arguing about a flag. One monk says, “The flag is moving.” The other monk says, “The flag is not moving, the wind is moving.” A very senior monk just happens to be walking by (don’t ask, this is a Zen story) and overhearing the young monks, he says, “The flag is not moving; the wind is not moving; the mind is moving.” The monks look at each other and think simultaneously, “WTF?”

Mettagroup's IPF Teachings in a New Study 

The first is that Dr. Dan Brown will be presenting the preliminary findings for our study comparing his Three Pillars approach to repairing attachment disturbances with Mettagroup’s The Meaningful Life curriculum at the 2019 London – Congress Attachment & Trauma – Relationships, Consciousness And The Developing Self conference.

A Note from George (February 2019)

 

Mettagroup x the Bay Area

There are a lot of events happening in the Bay Area this winter into spring from Mettagroup! 

 
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First up is my Dharma talk about meditation and attachment on Friday, March 1, followed by a day-long introduction to our Meditation x Attachment course (formerly known as The Meaningful Life) on Saturday, March 2. It all leads up to a special two-month version of the Meditation x Attachment intensive taking place over four day-longs on April 6, April 20, May 4, May 18. It's all happening at San Francisco Dharma Collective and you can read more here

Also in March (March 3 - 8 to be precise), my good friend Dave Smith and I are offering a six day/five night workshop called An Awakened and Meaningful Life at 1440 Multiversity in Scotts Valley. This is the first time we're co-teaching a retreat like this, focused on developing skillful emotional regulation strategies for use in intimate relationships (friends and lovers). Get the details and register here


We still ❤️ you, LA!

Back on our home turf in Los Angeles, we'll also be offering Meditation x Attachment – Level One during four day-longs, meeting every other week on April 13, April 27, May 11 and May 25. After a successful trial run of this new format in Santa Cruz last year, we're very excited to bring it back home - and it will be completely Dana-based, so here we go! Read more and register here

Then later in the Spring, Mettagroup will begin a series of day-longs under the banner Coupling for Single People, focusing on understanding the dynamics of collaborative relationships and meditation based emotional regulation strategies. We are taking a Noah’s Ark approach (is there a Buddhist metaphor that is equivalent?), inviting everyone whatever your object choice. We love a good mash-up!! Stay tuned for details.
 

Switching Up Our Retreat Schedule

Mettagroup’s ten-day Metta-Vipassana retreats will move from Winter and Summer, to Spring and Fall. Since we held the Winter retreat, the next 10-dayer will be in the Fall, back at Seven Circles Retreat Center in Badger, CA. Maybe California living changes your blood into wimpy, wimpy, wimpy, but many of our retreatants have emphatically stated that the meditation yurt is too cold in the winter and too hot in the summer, so we have opted for milder weather. People have also requested a lay-away plan for paying for the retreat, so we have created a pay-as-you-like possibility, so you can register now for the retreat and pay little-by-little over the months ahead of the retreat. Register here

 
The infamous yurt at Seven Circles.

The infamous yurt at Seven Circles.

 

I think we have finally perfected our retreat format (not forgetting that everything remains impermanent), adding a period of restorative yoga at the end of the day, so the body can stretch and relax in preparation for sleep and another day of practice. 


The Tiger and the Strawberry

Now for a little Zen story: a monk or a nun depending on which makes you happier, walks along a forest path on the edge of a steep, mountain cliff. S/he hears a crash in the forest behind him/her and turns to see a tiger lumber out between the trees. The tiger licks her/his lips and charges toward the nun/monk. The monk/nun runs as fast she/he can but loses her/his footing taking a turn and slides over the edge of the cliff. Just as he/she is about to drop a thousand feet to her/his death, s/he grabs ahold of a root sticking out of the cliff with both hands. The tiger looks over the edge of the cliff and sees the predicament of the nun/monk, then trots down the path until s/he is standing underneath the nun/monk waiting for her/him to fall. 

As the monk/nun attempts to pull her/himself up the cliff back to the path, two mice crawl out of a small hole next to the root the monk/nun is clinging to. One white mouse called, “Expansion,” and one black mouse called, “Contraction.” The mice begin to chew through the root. The nun/monk sees what quick work the mice are doing on the root, looks down, and realizes, if the fall doesn’t kill me the tiger will eat me alive. 

 
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Then, out of the corner of her/his eye, the nun/monk sees a perfectly red-ripe strawberry growing of the side of the cliff just within reach. With one hand clutching the root, the monk/nun reaches out with the other and picks the strawberry. S/he tastes its luscious loveliness, and exclaims to the world itself, “Ahh, how sweet it is!!” 

Happy practice, love to you,
George

P.S. As always please feel free to call the office at 213-378-0489 for answers to any questions you have about our stuff.

 

Non-Profit News!

Mettagroup is now a licensed non-profit!! I think I should go into this a little more deeply. Mettagroup has a hybrid business structure, we are a combination for-profit B Corp and 501 (c)(3) non-profit. We feel strongly that everyone who works here, teachers, meditation facilitators, yoga teachers, administrators, should all receive a living wage and benefits.

The holiday season

The holiday season is upon us again. With Halloween behind us and Thanksgiving looming, may I suggest the practice of Metta Meditation in Life. Touch into yourself, closing your eyes if there is the opportunity, careful not to create disconnection from the person in front of yourself, express Metta to yourself, “May I be peaceful.” Then, looking at the person in front of you, express Metta for them, “May you be peaceful.” Back and forth.

A Note From George (October 2018)

 

I'm very happy to announce a new drop-in class with Ben Smith called, “Exploration!” on Monday nights at 7:30pm at The Red Door in West Hollywood. I'll talk meditation, attachment conditioning as reflected in our individual capacities to explore what is meaningful, and Ben will cover the how-to of entrepreneurship to integrate meaningful work into a whole life. The classes are designed to provide instruction and support in meditation practice, instruction in how attachment conditioning shapes exploration, and with plenty of time to cover the how-tos of creating an entrepreneurial business and making it thrive.

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We will use Dan Brown’s Three Pillars approach for attachment repair: Ideal Parent Figure protocol for reparenting, developing of mentalizing, and developing our collaborative capabilities. As the human condition would have it, these three skills are essential to the practice of entrepreneurship. I think the synergy between these two worlds will be amazing. Please join us - RSVP here!

Karma & Generosity

Karma has a way of unfolding that is often unpredictable. For instance, some of you may remember a teaching on generosity I have offered may times. 

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You keep a dollar bill with you, and if you notice an opportunity to give it away, you do so mindfully, tracking your cognitive and emotional experience of generosity. Simple practice. Years ago, I was having lunch at a sideway café in (I am remembering Beverly Hills, but memory is unreliable) with Remi Kessler, marvelous Frenchman and documentarian. A homeless man approached the table asking for money, and I practiced generosity. Remi was so intrigued by this practice that he began a journey exploring the origins of homeless and our collective response to it. That exploration has resulted in a new documentary, The Advocates. Here is a link for conversation with Remi relaying his experiences coming to understand this terrible ongoing failure of our culture. The film premieres in theaters tomorrow, Friday, October 19th. Please look for it!

Calling all Shinheads!

Meditators often have found themselves wanting to have a daily meditation practice, but almost everything else in the world gets in the way of that ever @#$%ing happening. In our interweb connected, digital, phone-centered lives there is almost always an app for that. Shinheads of the world rejoice!! If you haven’t already tried Brightmind, a meditation app based on Shinzen Young’s teaching, with Shin himself guiding meditation, consider the possibility of inaugurating your new daily meditation habit. (Try it, you’ll like it.) Here is the link try try Brightmind.

Winter Retreat!

As Halloween is fast approaching and all that masked abandon is now the de facto start of the Holiday season, I think it is important to begin considering retreat for a silent New Year’s celebration. I point this out because Mettagroup is offering our Winter Retreat at Seven Circles Retreat Center in the Sierra Nevadas. Nothing quite rings in the New Year like supermarket cake, a cold Martinelli’s, and enlightenment. Book your spot here.

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Happy practice, love to you,
George

 

Two Milestones

Two Milestones

In the sorely-needed good news department, Mettagroup has reached two milestones. First, we have joined Dan Brown on an outcome study evaluating the effectiveness of his Ideal Parent Figure Protocol (IPF) in repairing attachment disturbances in adults. The effectiveness of Mettagroup’s The Meaningful Life Intensives approach will be evaluated and contrasted to IPF.